Read The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists Coping with the OneWay Relationship in Work Love and Family Eleanor D Payson LMSW 8601400372272 Books

Product details Paperback 187 pages Publisher Julian Day Publications; Third edition (October 1, 2002) Language English ISBN-10 0972072837

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists Coping with the OneWay Relationship in Work Love and Family Eleanor D Payson LMSW 8601400372272 Books Reviews

• This book changed my life. Honestly. Making the decision to leave my narcissistic husband after twenty-two years was not an easy one. We had committed to staying friends and keeping family first but when he quickly moved on to someone much much younger and essentially abandon me and our daughters I felt rage and regret. Even in the face of being a graduate student in Clinical Psychology I simply could not accept what my family was going through. I felt stuck in my pain and anger and was so focused on what he was doing that I forgot why I left. After listening to this book I realized every single thing I had been feeling and seeing in my marriage was indeed accurate and valid. I feel a renewed sense of self and feel so motivated to resolve my childhood issues and empower myself to move ahead with my own life after dissapperaing into his for decades.
  
  This is the most powerfully healing book I have read in a very long time. Thank you so much Eleanor for writing this book. It has changed me as a woman and mother. Thank you.
• Eleanor Payson's knowledge on Narcissistic Personality Disorder was paramount to me. I attract Narcissists like fly paper and I now realize why. I am the quintessential "codependent care giver". My best friend is a Narcissist bordering on the malignant. I finally realized that she was literally taking over my life while draining my energy, and practically my bank account as well. I had to put a stop to it. This book helped me to understand how Narcissists operate and how to protect myself from their toxic talons. It really helped me to see aspects of myself and how I was always trying to help, fix, and placate someone that cannot be helped. This book has been extremely valuable in my quest to try and figure out the imbalance and or lopsided friendship I was all tangled up in. I highly recommend this book. I have passed it on to several friends and there is not a single page that doesn't have paragraphs underlined. Thank you Cyndi for recommending this book to me.
• I really enjoyed this book on such a difficult subject. There is no anger in the writing, if you know what I mean. Often, authors on such subjects are writing their own emotions into the page (something Virginia Wolff said not to do), and I have to put them down because I'm 'catching' their emotions, especially the anger. But Eleanor Payson writes about narcissism in such an interesting and easy to digest way that I could also see myself in there without all the judgement that would have gone with such an insight in the past. I'm aware that co-dependent people can also be mildly to highly narcissistic, and then we attract the narcissists and try to change them. Such funny creatures - humans... Anyway, it's a lovely book, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for answers on the difficult people in their lives.
• The first half of this book is an excellent description of NPD and NPD behaviours. The Wizard of Oz theme is very hokey but OK - you are trying to reach really damaged and bewildered people who are looking for something a bit comforting and familiar, and she uses the anaology well.
  
  The second half of the book in which each kind of possible relationship with a narcissist is explored (parent, child, partner etc etc) gets very tiresome because it is all "your therapist this, your therapist that" then "your joint therapist this, your joint therapist that". If people want therapy their therapist will advise on what is appropriate or not. So it seems like a bit of an ad for the therapy industry.
  
  The final chapter is however quite a gem. It points out that the power to recover from a narcissitic relationship is within you and always was - much like dorothy clicks her shoes and goes home.
• I’ve read a bunch of books on narcissism and codependence, but this one stands out for its practical value. It reveals how narcissists gain and maintain control. And, it provides techniques to slip the knot. Finally, it explores how to counter narcissists in many different contexts, from love, to friendship, work, politics, etc. Very insightful and helpful.
• This book is good for basic information, and learning about NPD.
  When it was first released in 2002 it was ground breaking information.
  It's a great starter book. However, like other reviewers I really wish that
  there were sections about detaching, defusing, and "going low to no contact".
  I have to agree with some of others, some situations just can't be salvaged,
  no matter how much energy and effort you put into them, and often it's not
  safe (or sane) to remain in the realm of The Narcissist and you've
  got to leave A.S.A.P. to save yourself!
• I'm not a big writer so i'll make this brief and to the point.
  
  I've read several books on personality disorders since breaking up with my x girlfriend. While I seriously think she had Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD I didn't see some of the characteristics that other books mentioned. This book covers OVERT and COVERT Narcissism and really makes sense as to those Narcissists in high places vs. those who are more run of the mill next door I'm too good for you, know it all, empathy lacking types.
  Further, it gets into what attracts NPD's like bees to honey - codependency!
  If you are trying to figure out what in the world is so screwed up in your life with a significant other, be it a lover, parent, child, sibling, co-worker or friend and you can't quite put your finger on it there's an excellent chance this book will answer your questions and start you on the right path to deal with that person or get them out of your life.